J.J.: “Why are we going this way, Mommy”?
Me: “Because this is the path we need to take to get home.”
J.J.: “Why are we going home”?
Me: “Because that’s where we go after your school day is over.”

And thus today began my journey into the “why” stage of child development. Just like that, my inquisitive pre-schooler moved from “what’s that called?” to “why does milk make me big and strong?”

I’ve often heard other parents talk about this era, when every observation requires a detailed explanation until ultimately they resort to the old reliable: “Because I said so!” And now I have entered the why zone, too.

Actually, I’m thrilled, because it’s a sign that he’s genuinely fascinated by how the world works. Here’s what renowned pediatrician Dr. Greene has to say about it:

We’ve misunderstood their language and think that when they ask “why?” they mean the same thing we mean when we ask why. After conversing with thousands of children, I’ve decided that what they really mean is, “That’s interesting to me. Let’s talk about that together. Tell me more, please.”

Now I just have to figure out how the heck I’m going to answer the questions as they get more complicated.

Why is the sky blue? (No, really, I wanna know, so when J.J. asks I’ll be ready.)

Maybe it’s because I’m a mom of a boy. Maybe it’s because I consider it a chore to put on makeup. Or maybe it’s because I had to sneak lipstick out of the house when I was 11 because my mom said I was too young to wear it. Whatever the case, an article in today’s New York Times inspired by the trend in little girl makeover/beauty theme parties really bugs me. Here’s just a snippet:

But today, cosmetic companies and retailers increasingly aim their sophisticated products and service packages squarely at 6- to 9-year-olds, who are being transformed into savvy beauty consumers before they’re out of elementary school.

It’s one thing to fool around with fake press-on nails and play dress up with a trunk full of princess costumes, but are there really moms out there who allow — and encourage — their first-grade daughters to wear makeup beyond the occasional theme birthday party? There must be, if a whole new target market has emerged.

I guess it’s in the same vein as taking your little girl to get her hair highlighted or her belly button pierced (ick!). The next time you’re at the mall, take a look at the kids swearing as they walk around in packs with their designer handbags, cellphones, and provocative T-shirts — then look closely at their faces, and realize they’re the same age you were when you still believed in the Tooth Fairy.

Moms, what do you think? Am I being a prude or are kids (especially girls) growing up too fast? 

It wasn’t too long along that your tween was singing those very Beyonce lyrics with her iPod affixed to her ears. And guess what? It was probably dangerously loud! That’s why the American Academy of Audiology (AAA) is urging teens to “Turn it To the Left” in an awareness campaign about the dangers of hearing loss.

In fact, more than 5 million 6- to 19-year-olds have noise-induced hearing loss, often simply because they don’t keep their music’s volume to a minimum, they say. Here’s what you as a parent can do to help prevent this unnecessary health issue:

• Make sure they turn down the volume whenever they listen to music, especially while wearing headphones or riding in the car.
• Buy portable media or music players with “volume limiters” (they may come with the device or can be bought separately).
• Encourage your kids to give their ears a rest once in a while if they don headphones all the time.
• Have them wear ear protection (earplugs or earmuffs) when using machinery — like in metal or wood shop at school, or while mowing the lawn.
• Ask them to consider wearing earplugs at concerts, especially if they’re sitting anywhere near the stage or speakers. They’ll still be able to hear the music — it just won’t be as deafening. And they don’t need to worry about their image — most earplugs are so tiny that no one will even notice they’re there.
• Turn on toys to check out their volume. If you hold it up to your ears and it hurts, don’t buy it. If it’s already in your kids’ toy bin, take out the batteries and/or put tape over the speakers, says the U.S. PIRG, the federation of state Public Interest Research Groups (PIRGs).
• Emphasize the importance of moving away from any noise that’s uncomfortable.

You should speak to your pediatrician if you notice your child has difficulty hearing normal volumes, complains of ringing in the ears, or if you notice unusual speech development.

Who turns up the volume in your home — you, your kids, or your spouse?

… smoke-free movies. In this case, we’re talking about the American Academy of Pediatrics and its campaign to get the movies to “quit smoking.” They and other leading health organizations say movies glamourize tobacco and smoking, and in turn make it attractive to impressionable teens. That’s why they’re calling upon the movie industry to cease tobacco content in youth-rated films.

Just how widespread is this issue? Consider this scary stat: In the first half of 2007, 36 percent of G/PG movies, 69 percent of PG-13 movies, and 86 percent of R-rated movies contained images of people smoking, according to a study by the University of California-San Francisco.

Here are the AAP’s suggestions for the entertainment industry:

1. Rate new smoking movies “R.”
Any film that shows or implies tobacco should be rated “R.” The only exceptions should be when the presentation of tobacco clearly and unambiguously reflects the dangers and consequences of tobacco use or is necessary to represent the smoking of a real historical figure.

2. Certify no payoffs.
The producers should post a certificate in the closing credits declaring that no one on the production received anything of value (cash money, free cigarettes or other gifts, free publicity, interest-free loans or anything else) from anyone in exchange for using or displaying tobacco. (SFM is working with attorneys on how certification can be made binding and enforceable.)

3. Require strong anti-smoking ads.
Studios and theaters should require a genuinely strong anti-smoking ad (not one produced by a tobacco company) to run before any film with any tobacco presence, in any distribution channel, regardless of its MPAA rating.

4. Stop identifying tobacco brands.
There should be no tobacco brand identification nor the presence of tobacco brand imagery (such as billboards) in the background of any movie scene.

Do you think limiting images of smoking in film will help curb teen smoking?

Another reason why the Campbell’s soup salt reduction is big news: Besides forming bad habits that can lead to future hypertension, salt might be making your kids chunky, too!

Kids who load up on salty meals and snacks get thirsty, and too often they turn to calorie-filled sodas. So maybe cutting back on the salt is a good way to cut the calories. That’s the idea coming from a British study published Wednesday in an American Heart Association journal.

Salt is “a hidden factor in the obesity epidemic,” said Graham MacGregor, a co-author of the study by researchers at St. George’s University of London.

And researchers say all that salt isn’t coming from the salt shaker: About 80 percent comes from manufactured food.

It’s tough to break the chips and soda routine, even as an adult, isn’t it?

Readers, any fun snack ideas for the kids that don’t involve too much salt or sugar?

So we know too much sugar is a no-no for your child’s diet, which is why you’ve limited fruit juice and save the cupcakes for special occasions. But are you paying attention the little guy’s sodium intake? With more and more Americans developing high blood pressure due to high salt diets, perhaps it’s something to keep an eye on, especially when you tend to rely on prepackaged and fast food for your picky eater.

At least one big-name canned soup company that markets to your kids is on your side:

The Campbell Soup Co.’s kid-oriented soups, which feature characters such as Dora the Explorer and Batman on the cans, are getting their second sodium reduction in three years, the company announced Monday.

This time, the 12 soups for kids will have 480 milligrams per serving, which means the company can legally label them as healthy foods for the first time.

“Your kids can enjoy Dora the Explorer even more,” Douglas R. Conant, Campbell’s president and chief executive, said in an interview. “They’ll be down to heart-healthy levels.”

That’s great news for our household, where “Cars” soup is now the favorite meal of choice.

Before you know it, long gone will be the diapers, tantrums and bedtime battles, and you’ll enter the tween and teen years and — ugh! — dating issues.

Here’s some advice that I plan to print out and keep on the brain when all those touchy-feeley teen dating issues come into play. It comes from Marilyn Maxwell, M.D., a Saint Louis University physician and contributing author to Questions Kids Ask About Sex: Honest Answers for Every Age:

1. Set the ground rules and stick to them. Guidelines can range from curfews to acceptable activities. Some parents also require the date to first spend time getting to know the family.
2. Consider your child’s maturity level. Many parents set a certain age, say 16, for dating, but not all children mature at the same rate.
3. Encourage group activities rather than solo dates, especially for younger teens.
4. Incorporate dates into family activities. This time should not be used to drill the date, but to get to know him and have fun together.
5. Be involved in your child’s plans. Know where he is going, with whom and when he will be home.
6. Provide supervision. Leaving children alone for hours or not requiring accountability is a set-up for undesirable behavior.
7. Watch for dangerous behaviors such as rollercoaster emotions, neediness, isolation, verbal disrespect or physical abuse.
8. Pick your battles. Don’t forbid a relationship unless it is abusive, controlling or isolating. Maxwell also says teens shouldn’t date someone more than two years older because of the maturity differences.
9. If your child has already had sex, tell her that it is never too late to start making good decisions and encourage her to make a commitment to wait until marriage.
10. Loosen up on the reins. While parents need to set appropriate boundaries, it’s important to entrust your teen with increasing responsibilities to manage themselves.

Hopefully, I can file these tidbits away for a long time. Then again, J.J. has been beaming all week, ever since his preschool girl pal gave him a Valentine. Hmm…

Parents of tweens/teens: How old was your child when dating/relationship issues first emerged?

The first time you hear that unmistakable seal-like bark in the middle of the night, a sense of panic will overcome you. How can such an awful hacking, wheezing cough be coming out of that little body, you’ll wonder, as you contemplate rushing to the emergency room.

Chances are, this is how you’ll react the first time you encounter croup as a parent (I know that’s what I did!). Often sounding worse than it is, croup is not your typical cough, although it stems from the same viruses that cause the common cold. Symptoms are the result of the narrowing of the airways, which is why it’s common in young, growing children (who have more smaller windpipes). While most cases are not serious and clear up in 2-5 days, it can be quite scary, uncomfortable for your child, and requires careful monitoring.

If croup strikes your home, arm yourself with these tactics for treating an attack from WebMD:

• Try to stay calm during an attack, and soothe your child. Crying can make the swelling in the windpipe worse and make it even harder to breathe.
• Breathing in moist air seems to help during a croup attack. Fill your bathroom with steam from the hot water faucets, and sit in the room with your child for 10 minutes. Or hold your child directly over a cool mist humidifier, and let the vapor blow directly in his or her face.
• Breathing cool night air also seems to help sometimes. Dress your child in warm clothes, and go outside for 10 minutes.
• If the symptoms happen during the middle of the night, it is a good idea to sleep in or near your child’s room until morning.
• It is important to keep your child well hydrated. Offer water, flavored ice treats (such as Popsicles), or crushed ice drinks several times each hour.

Most important, be in touch with your pediatrician so he or she can monitor the situation and/or prescribe medication (usually a steroid) as needed.

Today’s New York Times Magazine has a fascinating article about the science of play. While it is quite involved and admittedly, a tad over my head, here’s one paragraph that jumped out at me:

Parents bobble between a nostalgia-infused yearning for their children to play and fear that time spent playing is time lost to more practical pursuits. Alarming headlines about U.S. students falling behind other countries in science and math, combined with the ever-more-intense competition to get kids into college, make parents rush to sign up their children for piano lessons and test-prep courses instead of just leaving them to improvise on their own; playtime versus résumé building.

Maybe it’s a mom-guilt thing, but there is constant pressure to get your little one on the “baby dean’s list.” Is J.J. getting enough free play time? Should I sign him up for enrichment programs? What’s the right balance? How will he get into a top college if I can’t get him into a top pre-school? And, how is his current activity load going to affect his social and academic future?

Then the rational part of me takes a step back and realizes there’s no need to stress. He’s got the next 18 or so years to go to school everyday and do homework, so if he lingers around the TV or his non-educational toys a little longer on a given day, what’s the big deal? And, besides, no matter what the science says (if you can decipher that article and summarize it for me, you get extra credit!), lots of learning takes place through play.

Just think about some of the interaction you share together during the infant months, for instance:

Game: Peekaboo
What baby is learning: Object Permanence (the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they are out of sight)

Game: Pat-a-Cake
What baby is learning: Rhythm and coordination

Game: Opening and closing the light
What baby is learning: Cause and effect

See? Learning can be fun. So  put the flashcards down for a few minutes, and go act silly with your kids. Or better yet, let them play on their own, how they want. Your job is to sit back and observe — you just may learn something.

Beep beep, beep beep, yeah!

I think the most anxiety I had in terms of child safety was whether or not I installed J.J.’s car seat correctly. We had a seasoned mom and dad check it out for us. Then we even took a ride over to our police precinct to have a Child Passenger Safety (CPS) Technician inspect it. Of course, they said we went overboard, using the LATCH system (available in most vehicles made after 2002) and the seatbelt. But, hey, there’s no such thing as being too safe, right?

Once you’ve installed correctly, here are the car seat guidelines to follow, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)(click for the full guide):

• All infants should always ride rear-facing until they are 1 year of age and weigh at least 20 pounds. Many parents opt for infant seats that snap in and out of a base that remains in the car, so it can double as an infant carrier.

• Children 1 year of age and at least 20 pounds can ride forward-facing. It is best to ride rear-facing as long as possible. Some car seats are convertible, meaning you can use as rear facing, then forward facing, and get more bang for your buck.

• Booster seats are for older children who have outgrown their forward-facing car safety seats. Children should stay in a booster seat until the adult seat belts fit correctly (usually when a child reaches about 4′ 9″ in height and is between 8 and 12 years of age).

• Children who have outgrown their booster seats should ride in a lap and shoulder belt; they should ride in the back seat until 13 years of age.

With these guidelines, you can safely enjoy the ride. Now if you can only figure out how to stop all that backseat “are we there yet?” whining…

Have any tips for entertaining your little ones in the car?