Babies can be awfully particular about who’s allowed to hold them. A baby even as young as two months may cry when a stranger picks her up, though stranger anxiety becomes really obvious about the time baby starts to crawl.

Once a baby can crawl or walk, she suddenly becomes clingy and shows a greater fear of strangers. Researchers suggest that babies are frightened by the realization that they can be apart from their parents. Some react to strangers with their head down or buried in Mom’s shoulder; others will scream bloody murder. When a child of any age cries in someone else’s arms, it’s generally because she’s formed a strong, healthy attachment to her parents or primary caregivers. She knows her parents make her feel safe and loved, but she doesn’t know how a stranger might treat her.

Put yourself in that position — how would you like it if a complete stranger picked you up without warning and gave you a big squeeze?

Read Saying goodbye to soothe baby anxiety for helpful tips on handling baby’s fears.