It’s true. Many rules were meant to be broken. But not when it comes to the rules of dating as a single parent. Lisa Cohn and William Merkel, Ph.D., are authors of the award-winning One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories and Advice For Stepfamilies and have excellent advice for the who what when where why and how of single-parent dating. They recently held a Q&A session with MSN and offered some of their top tips. Below are some of the highlights.

• The best time to inform your date that you have a child is immediately.
• The best places for single parents to meet other single parents are places where parents hang out: the park the roller rink the movies.
• Don’t introduce your date to your children unless there’s a chance that it can become a serious relationship-especially if your kids are a bit older. Also, keep it casual and low-key when they meet; don’t introduce your date as your future spouse!
• Use email, cell phones and even Internet dating to establish and keep connections with new dates and companions since single parents have limited time as it is; make use of the odd moments during the day and in the evening to get and stay acquainted.
• Don’t scare off your companion but make your intentions pretty clear early in the relationship. If you never want to get married again, let that be known; if you’re looking for a spouse and soon, that should be shared as well.
• Happier parents are better parents so don’t feel guilty about wanting to find love and spending some time with a date; everyone needs to have some adult time in their lives and it’s okay.

Want more advice? Check out the full session on MSN or the entire award-winning book. Single-parent dating can work; you just have to be smart about it. And when in doubt, discover what the experts have to say.

Before you know it, long gone will be the diapers, tantrums and bedtime battles, and you’ll enter the tween and teen years and — ugh! — dating issues.

Here’s some advice that I plan to print out and keep on the brain when all those touchy-feeley teen dating issues come into play. It comes from Marilyn Maxwell, M.D., a Saint Louis University physician and contributing author to Questions Kids Ask About Sex: Honest Answers for Every Age:

1. Set the ground rules and stick to them. Guidelines can range from curfews to acceptable activities. Some parents also require the date to first spend time getting to know the family.
2. Consider your child’s maturity level. Many parents set a certain age, say 16, for dating, but not all children mature at the same rate.
3. Encourage group activities rather than solo dates, especially for younger teens.
4. Incorporate dates into family activities. This time should not be used to drill the date, but to get to know him and have fun together.
5. Be involved in your child’s plans. Know where he is going, with whom and when he will be home.
6. Provide supervision. Leaving children alone for hours or not requiring accountability is a set-up for undesirable behavior.
7. Watch for dangerous behaviors such as rollercoaster emotions, neediness, isolation, verbal disrespect or physical abuse.
8. Pick your battles. Don’t forbid a relationship unless it is abusive, controlling or isolating. Maxwell also says teens shouldn’t date someone more than two years older because of the maturity differences.
9. If your child has already had sex, tell her that it is never too late to start making good decisions and encourage her to make a commitment to wait until marriage.
10. Loosen up on the reins. While parents need to set appropriate boundaries, it’s important to entrust your teen with increasing responsibilities to manage themselves.

Hopefully, I can file these tidbits away for a long time. Then again, J.J. has been beaming all week, ever since his preschool girl pal gave him a Valentine. Hmm…

Parents of tweens/teens: How old was your child when dating/relationship issues first emerged?