When bad behavior is normal
In early childhood, it’s easy to track your child’s developmental milestones — laughing, rolling over, walking and talking, to name just a few. As your child continues to grow and develop, important milestones may be less obvious. Sometimes they manifest themselves in unpleasant behavior.
When you’re child exhibits another new bad habit, consider that it may just be a normal part of growing.
Terrible twos
We’re all too familiar with this one. These temper-tantrum throwing kids are learning to express themselves and assert their independence. While little fits may be expected, they don’t have to be tolerated. It’s important for parents to remind their little tyrants who’s in charge.
Tattlers
As annoying as tattling is, it’s normal for 5- and 6-year olds to do it. Children use tattling to help them figure out rules, fairness, and right from wrong. Tattling is a coping mechanism for kids who can’t otherwise figure out how to resolve disputes. Tattling is often a child’s peaceful alternative to fighting. This phase lasts a year or two while children figure out how to compromise and work things out without Mom or Dad’s constant intervention.
Popularity contests
Cliques begin as early as the second grade. Children begin interacting with their peers in an entirely new way. In preschool and kindergarten, everyone was pretty equal. Now, however, kids are deciding that some of them are more popular than others. Your child may be part of the in crowd or always excluded from the group. While peer pressure and cliques will continue throughout childhood and adolescence, the kids who fit the various roles will change continuously. You can help by encouraging your child to befriend kids with similar interests and by reminding them how important it is to treat others the way they themselves want to be treated.
Fashionistas
When kids reach the third or fourth grade, peer pressure kicks in. One of the first things kids begin to note is how differently they dress from one another. Thanks to some shallow parents, there will be kids who make your child’s life miserable because he doesn’t wear $80 sneakers. It may be tempting to buy your kid what he needs to fit in, but it’s unwise to do so. This sort of peer pressure is not short-lived, and giving in to it now sets a precedent for all the years to come. As a compromise, wise parents can provide a few trendy items that don’t break the bank while helping their child understand that what he wears is less important than his developing character.
Potty mouth
You thought your 2-year-old was mouthy? Just wait! Around fifth or sixth grade, you may hear the filthiest language rolling off his tongue. Children pick up rude language from others and try it out as they develop their own sense of identity. As a parent, you can help your child distinguish the difference between rude talk and self expression. Be open to honest discussions, but draw the line at insulting or inappropriate language. Explain to your child that such obnoxious talk can become a lifelong habit that will not serve them well as adults.
So how can you tell if your child’s nasty new habits are growing pains or something else? Talk with other parents. You may find that your kindergartners classmates are all chronic tattletales or that your daughter’s second-grade friends are all “unpopular.”
What was your child’s worst growing phase?
