Lawrence Kutner and Cheryl Olsen, two researchers from Harvard, have written a book dispelling the myth that video games cause children to become violent. The book, Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do, contradicts the notion that violent video games make for violent behavior in kids.

Kutner and Olsen studied more than 1,200 middle-school students over a 2-year period of time. Much of their data was collected by talking with the students. Turns out, the researchers did see a link between mature-rated titles and aggressive behavior in kids, but there was no evidence that the games caused the behaviors. It can be considered similar to the which came first-the chicken or the egg dilemma? It’s possible that the kids who liked the mature-rated titles had more aggressive tendencies and personalities in the first place.

Instead of placing the blame for bad behavior solely on video games, the book suggests that parents consider a number of factors that are affecting their kids. The researchers caution, though, that too much of anything-like gaming-is not a good thing.

So my sister’s 15-month-old baby girl (Kira) is not playing by some fashion rules. Apparently, she’s not into the whole sandals-without-socks thing. In fact, when my sister (Jenny) tries to put sandals on Kira’s barefeet, you’d think it was the end of the world.

Jenny has tried several times now but without much luck. Kira will have no part of it. She lays on the ground and huffs and puffs and then looks at Jenny like, Why are you being the meanest mommy in the world by making me wear sandals without socks? 

Of course, Jenny has learned over the past 15 months a very important lesson that my mother has always taught: pick your battles. If the worse thing you’re facing with your child is a fashion faux pas or a crazy hair cut or bad taste in music, then count yourself in the lucky ones category. Jenny knows this and has happily accepted it.

Now, when Kira wants her socks on with her sandals, Jenny obliges with a smile. Then, she takes a quick picture of Kira the fashion icon and tucks it away for a later date. Some might consider that a sweet memory. I’m encouraging Jenny to think of it as good ol’ fashioned blackmail.

Who doesn’t want their children to behave well? Margie Markarian figured that most people do so she wrote an aritcle, “Positive Parenting: How to Encourage Good Behavior,” for the latest issue of Heatlhy Children magazine. In the article, Markarian includes a list of discipline don’ts for parents when it comes to getting good behavior out of kids. Here’s a quick summary of Markarian’s big no-nos for moms and dads:

• No hitting or spanking–Using physical force shows kids that violence is an okay way to solve problems. Markarian, as well as many other experts, strongly oppose hitting kids.
• No labels–Calling a behavior bad is fine, but telling your son he’s a “bad boy” is no good for anyone.
• No unreasonable expectations–If you set the bar too high, you’re setting your child up for failure. Don’t expect perfect behavior from your daughter late in the afternoon when she hasn’t napped all day.
• No idle threats–Mean what you say and say what you mean. Kids learn quickly if moms and dads don’t follow through with their warnings or threats.
• Avoid inconsistencies–Don’t let the kids play you against your spouse or partner or co-parent.  Divide and conquer is bad here. Always present a united front.

An 18-year-old from Boca Raton died at the end of March during corrective breast surgery. At this point, it appears that she had an adverse reaction to the anesthesia. They’re thinking it might have been due to a genetic condition known as malignant hyperthermia.

It was considered to be a routine procedure. Her family and friends assumed she’d walk out of the surgical suite without any complications. But unfortunately, there were more than complications. There were life-ending consequences.

While the surgery was to correct a birth defect, it still begs the question of parents: should you let your children undergo elective surgery? Who bears the brunt of the decision and the final outcome? It seems that the news reports of more and more teen girls getting cosmetic surgery as gifts, which is a whole other topic. But tragedies like this one should make parents at least stop and think and hopefully make the best decision for their children.

In the Sunday edition of the Chicago Tribune, Heidi Stevens profiled a new parenting book, The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting. Brett Berk, the author of the book, has a master’s degree in education along with 20 years of experience working with young children, which includes his stint as a preschool director in New York City. Not having kids himself, Berk believes that being able to offer an external perspective – much like a therapist does – can be very helpful, especially when dealing with family matters.

According to Steven’s, some of Berk’s best advice is as follows:

• When parents start statements with No and Don’t, it gives kids a prompt for rebellion. Instead, parents should use positive directions. So, “Don’t feed your French fries to the puppy!” becomes “The French fries are only for you to eat.”
• Parents need to be the grown-up, not the best pal. Parents need to guide and direct their kids and not give them an equal say in everything like asking them if they want to take a nap or if they feel like doing their homework.

Stevens insists that she has followed lots of the advice found in the book and that her house is a happier place because of it. Berk uses his wit and wisdom, as well as plenty of anecdotes from friends and family throughout the book, while making it clear that as parents, it ain’t always easy to do the right thing.

Berk says he wrote the book out of love … and apparently to convince parents to stop succumbing to the big-money baby business that makes them do things like buy wipe warmers and Diaper Genies. Finally, someone else said it out loud.